"Oh, fu*k�" Grace whispered with wide eyes as she looked at the remains of Prof. Lau. She wanted to get out of the room screaming, but her body refused. Instead, she stretched her hand until she touched his cheek. He felt cold and clammy to the touch.
In the dim light projected by the screen, she noticed his face looked a little bluish, and his lips were a tad shade of purple. She followed his outstretched hand. In the floor, underneath his hand, was his asthma inhaler. It was open and looked like it had been taken out of his pocket in haste and accidentally dropped.
Was this what happened to Prof. Lau? Nothing more than a deadly asthma attack? She knew he was a very sick man. He may have been young, but his frailty was evident. He was no more than 38, but he had needed a cane to assist him since he was 20. Was his own frailty what killed him? Or was there something more sinister afoot?
She looked back at the screen. Nothing but static and snow stared back at her. Then she looked back at the Professor's face. There was no mistaking the fact that his bloodshot eyes were glued to the screen. What had he been seeing? Could the image have prompted his untimely death?
Grace remembered the last words Prof. Lau had said to her: "I don't promise anything, but I will try and get them for you." Violent images. Had he been successful in getting it for her? Was the film he was going to get for her the one that had finished playing in the screen? Was that responsible for his death?
She walked toward the console just beside the screen. Grace looked at the VCR as someone look at the electric chair on his execution day.
Without a second thought, she pressed the Eject key.
**************************
NYU Library
10:00 AM
Grace was sitting on the same chair she had been sitting in with Jimmy just yesterday. Her world had changed in less than 24 hours. She was still shock, her mind trying to absorb what she had seen yesterday in Psycho's room; what she had felt when she was trying to sleep� what she had found this morning while looking for Prof. Lau.
Grace had taken the tape and quickly hidden it in her backpack. Without thinking about it, she ran out of the screening room, leaving the screen and the body the way she had found them. No one saw her leave the room; and she told no one of her discovery.
Only now she realized how stupid she had been. Prof. Lau's body will be found soon, if it hadn't been found already, and someone will notice that a tape was missing from the VCR. What if it could somehow be traced back to her? She had not only stolen from school property, she had left the scene of a death the way the killer escapes from the scene of a murder. If she were found to be the thief, she would be thrown out of college. Even worse� she could be in trouble with the law.
So she had skipped her classes and come straight into the library, determined to start working on her thesis. For three hours she had been sitting on this desk, her pencil in her hand and the notebook neatly placed in front of her. Three hours later, the paper was still blank. She couldn't think straight; she couldn't snap out her shock enough to write even one sentence.
She wanted to see the tape she had just taken to find out what really was in it. But at the same time, she was scared and apprehensive. Why did she felt like that? It was nothing more than a tape. Images don't kill people. People kill people. She had nothing to fear from watching that tape�
So, she just stared blankly at the library's entrance, half expecting that at any moment two security guards from the university will come and escort her into the Dean's office. They will take the tape from her before she could watch it and they will expel her from college. And her last four years will be nothing more than a waste, a fitting ending for Professor Lau's favorite student. And some small part of her felt she truly deserved it.
She didn't notice that, instead of the security guards, in came Psycho Tse. He searched around the library, and upon seeing her, walked straight to her. "Hey, bookworm. Did you find the old man?" Psycho asked her. She suddenly waked up from her thoughts and noticed his presence.
"Um� no. I didn't found him." Grace said hesitantly. "Funny. He didn't come to class. You didn't either for that matter. Walking on the wild side now, Grace?" Psycho teased. "Tse, I'm not in the mood," she said squarely. He seemed to be taken back by her words, and dropped his smile. He looked down to the floor and said softly, "Is it something I can help you with?"
She was surprised, to say the least. But she didn't show it. Instead, she just mouthed "No." He just shrugged and said, "Suit yourself. I'm off." Psycho turned around and was walking away from her when she suddenly asked him, "Do you think a film can kill someone?"
"Uh?" was Psycho's reply as he turned around to face her once more. "I mean, like a heart attack, or something like that, caused by the images they are watching," Grace said.
"Shit, Grace! What's gotten into that pretty little head of yours?" he said as he walked back to her. She shushed him, but he continued, "Wasn't yesterday enough for you? You are a real sadist, girl. Keep this up and you'll be fucking me in no time." Psycho then flicked his tongue out as if he was going to lick her face. However, Grace just gave him a blank look coupled with a 'drop-dead' expression. Psycho grew serious, finally realizing that she wasn't in the mood for his teasing.
"Okay. I'll leave now. See you tomorrow. And try to watch some Disney flick to get this bad thoughts out of your pretty head," Psycho said as he pushed his glasses up in his nose and left the library.
Grace watched him leave, wondering when she had changed his view of Psycho from 'lunatic idiot' to 'plain weird friend.'
****************
8:15 PM
Yip Residence
"Honey, are you sure you aren't coming?" Anita, Grace's mother, asked her. Grace, already in her NY Knicks pajamas, just yawned and said, "Yeah. I'm tired. I was working all day in my thesis and I'm beat. But you all go and have fun!"
"Would you like something, baby cakes?" her father Jackie asked as he put on his coat. "Aside from you not calling me baby cakes in public, a chocolate cake if you don't mind!" Grace said as she kissed her father's cheek. "My baby cakes wants a cake!" he joked. "Coqui! Take care of Gracie! Don't let her trash the house!" Jackie said to the dog. At the sound of his name, Coqui barked.
Her father and her mother left for the car. Just Lillian remained. She put on her coat and was about to walk out of the house when she turned back to Grace. "Are you sure you don't want me to stay?" Lillian asked. "Yeah, go out and have fun! Remind dad to bring me the cake," Grace said as she walked Lillian to the door. Lillian seemed serious, as if she wanted to tell Grace something but was hesitant to. "Lil, what's wrong?" Grace asked her.
"I spoke to Jimmy today," Lillian told her. "Really? That's great! You two are back on speaking terms," Grace said as she adjusted her sister's collar. "He told me you were talking with that weird kid from your faculty. That you two were quite intimate�" Lillian said bluntly as she looked straight at Grace's face. "Fu*king Jimmy and his big mouth," Grace thought as she gave Lillian her best Poker face. "Who the hell are you talking about?" she asked casually. "That freaky kid that was in the subway station. Skinny� tall� big ass glasses� always wears that green overall coat and the WWF shirt inside� Ring a bell?" Lillian said as she went on with her description.
Grace suddenly felt angry. Angry that Tse could be reduced to a description that didn't do any justice to the complex enigma he really was. But this was Lillian and Grace knew that if Lillian had just reduced Psycho to a stereotype, it was probably because she was worried about her. "Oh! You mean Tse! He's helping me with my thesis, that's all," Grace said with a forced smile. "Are you sure?" Lillian asked her. "Of course. He's not my type, you know that," Grace said as Lillian walked out the door. "Thank God! For a moment there, Jimmy made it sound as if that kid was going to be my brother-in-law," Lillian said with relief.
"And talking about brother-in-laws, when are you and Jimbo coming back together?" Grace asked. She wanted Lillian out of the house and she knew that this was the best way to do it. Lillian just blushed and kissed Grace goodbye. Grace just laughed out loud and closed the door when Lillian walked to the car and stepped inside. "Things to do� kick Jimmy's ass," she thought wearily.
Her smile faded as soon as the door closed. She had one reason for not going out to eat with her family, and it wasn't tiredness. She wanted to be alone. She wanted to play the tape she had taken from Screening Room 11.
Grace ran to her backpack, Coqui trailing happily behind her, and took the videotape out. She put in on the player and grabbed the remote control. She then sat on the sofa, Coqui jumping beside her and cuddling against her leg. As she absently stroked his furry coat, she felt hesitant to press the Play button.
But she finally did. The color bars came on, signaling the tape was about to start. When the image was about to start, she shut the TV off. Nervously biting her nails, she was playing in her head the day's events. What she had found in that room had changed her life forever, yet it had triggered in her something quite unexpected: the need to know.
She turned on the TV back again, but before the image started, she changed the TV contrast to 0, effectively darkening the image to black while leaving the sound on.
A scream was heard; deep and gut wrenching. Full of pain and suffering, that scream was something out of Grace's worst nightmares. She opened her eyes wide while Coqui just put his ears up. And she kept hearing it. it must be a minute now� 2 minutes� five� and she kept hearing the screams. the begging. the thuds and grunts of punches and kicks and of beatings.
And the screams echoed loudly in her living room. It was the voice of a woman. That was something Grace was sure of. Those screams increased and subsided in length, pitch and emotion; but they were always there. And Grace knew they would be forever playing in her head.
And yet, she couldn't bring herself to adjust the contrast and watch the image that accompanied those screams. She just couldn't. What was really going on in that tape? Was it a movie? Was it real? Was this what killed Prof. Lau?
"Please! please! don't do this! DON'T DO THIS! WHY� WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS! NOOOOOOOOOOOOO! SOMEONE! SOMEONE HELP ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OH GOD! WHY ARE YOU�"
Grace shut the TV as tears started streaming down her cheeks. Coqui looked at her with big brown eyes, not comprehending what he had heard and waiting for his master to give him a reassuring statement. "It's okay, buddy. It's okay," she whispered as she absently stroked his head.
But it wasn't okay, because that night, long after Mom, Dad and Lillian had come from the restaurant, long after Grace had tucked herself in with her Cookie Monster doll, she kept hearing it. She heard it as loud as if she had been on the living room. But it was in her head. It played only for her.
**********************
The Next Day
8:05 AM
Grace looked at herself in the mirror. She looked as if a truck had ran over her and then shifted to reverse and ran over her again. She hadn't rested at all last night, and she knew why. But she also knew it was no one's fault but hers.
She was dressing in a plain white shirt and jeans, when Lillian's voice suddenly caught her attention. "Mom! Were you watching this tape?" Lillian asked her mother from the living room. "What tape?" Anita asked from the kitchen. "I don't know! It doesn't have a label! It was on the VCR," Lillian replied.
"Fu*king shit!" Grace muttered as she opened the door to her room and ran down the stairs just before Lillian pressed the Play button. She had forgotten to take the tape off the VCR. "Shit, Grace! You scared me to death!" Lillian said as Grace hit the Eject button, took the tape and put it on her backpack. "Sorry, Lil. It's my tape. It's something for my thesis. Some boring article," Grace lied as she gave her sister a half-smile.
"Girls, breakfast ready!" Anita said as she came into the living room. "Sorry, mom. I can't have a breakfast. I'm late for a.. a thing. I'll see you tonight! Love you," Grace said as she took the backpack and ran out to the door.
"Is it me or is your sister acting weird?" Anita asked. "It's not you, mom," Lillian said worriedly as she followed her mother back to the kitchen.
********************
School of Mass Communication
NYU
11:00 AM
"I heard someone say that they found him with his guts hanging outside his belly and with his cane up his butt," Gia whispered to Judy. "Are you kidding me? This place would be crawling with NYPD! It had to be natural. He wasn't exactly the poster boy for Healthy Living," Judy replied. "Thank God someone found him before he stank up the place!" Blu said and all of them snickered.
"Jesus Christ! Don't you people have any respect? A guy is dead!" Camel scolded. "Yeah� a guy that was going to flunk me," Bon said and all of them, except for Psycho, Camel and Grace started snickering.
"Tse and Gracie are awfully silent. maybe THEY did it!" Gloria said as she gave mocked accusatory glances at them. Grace looked back and was about to give Gloria a piece of her mind when she felt Psycho's deep stare in her face, and she turned back before she said anything.
"Poor Grace. She has spent three months sucking up to Lau just to have him die before he could give her final grade. Tsk. Tsk. That's what I call bad luck," Leakena whispered while snickering. Grace just sank further into her chair, her big eyes fixed on her desk, causing Leakena to laugh out loud. Some of the other students joined in her teasing. That is until Tse said seriously, "Leave her alone. I won't say it a second time." At his words, everyone stopped laughing and just looked at the front of the classroom.
Dean Leung came inside the classroom with a handsome man trailing behind him. "Silence. Silence please. Quiet!" Leung commanded. Gradually, the students stopped talking and paid attention.
"Call me a mare and ride me. I'm in love," Gia whispered dreamingly. Her statement made Grace look up from her desk in time to see the man that had come with Dean Leung. He was around 34, Asian, with black stylish hair and sharp clothing. His deep tan only increased the dimples in his cheeks and his eyes held an edge of intelligence. Leung turned his attention to the stranger and nodded. The stranger then walked to the front of the class and started speaking.
"Hello, everyone. I supposed you have all heard the sad news about Professor Lau. Our esteemed colleague died yesterday morning. He was found on one of the screening rooms of this faculty. Apparently, he had an asthma attack while watching a film," the stranger said seriously.
"Wow. Must have been BioCops. That film will kill anyone," Tse joked, making Judy snicker. Leung heard his snide comment and walked to him. While the stranger talked about the funeral arrangements, Leung asked, "Have you seen the film, Mr. Tse?" "No," Psycho said, surprised by the Dean's reaction.
"You probably took it," Leung said softly. Psycho looked confused. "Well, someone took it from that room," Leung said. "Sir, it wasn't me," Psycho said sincerely. When Leung walked back to the front of the class, Psycho looked directly at Grace and she could feel the weight of his stare as if it weighted a ton.
"Well, my name is Professor Louis Koo. although, I prefer to just be call Louis," the stranger said. "Damn! this is what I call higher learning," Gia said with a small smile, getting a low five from Bon. "I'm definitely not cutting class ever again," Judy whispered to them.
"I'm a professor of Audiovisual Psychology. Some of you probably know me already and have even taken some elective courses with me. I was a good friend of Andy and I'm very familiar with his curriculum. I have been asked to take over my friend's classes until a more suitable replacement is found. So," Louis said with a small smile, "there shouldn't be any problems to carry this class as normal. That reminds me."
Louis took a small note from his pocket. "Grace Yip?" he read out loud. "Damn Grace! You always have all the luck," Gia whispered. Grace raised her hand. Louis just smiled at Grace and said, "I believe Professor Lau was directing your thesis. I'd be more than happy to carry on. I've heard a lot about you, Grace. We can talk whenever you like. That alright with you?"
Grace nodded. "Well, class. That will be all for today. See you tomorrow," Louis said as he walked out of the class with Leung, not before waving goodbye to Grace.
"Shit, Grace! How do you do it? He has here for five minutes and already you are his favorite," Gia said as he gathered her things. "I'm not his favorite. I'm sure that by the end of the semester, he's going to be hell over heels with you," Grace muttered quickly as she took her backpack and walked out the classroom. They all noticed as Tse clumsily gathered his things and followed her outside.
"What's up with those two?" Leakena asked. Everyone just shrugged and went about their normal lives.
******************************
In the hallway
Grace was walking fast, knowing Psycho was behind her. However, he kept increasing his speed until he was side to side with her. So she simply decided to ignore him and keep walking. But Psycho wasn't a person you could easily ignore.
Grace (sharply): "What do you want?"
Psycho (bluntly): "The tape."
Grace (innocently): "What tape?"
Psycho (seriously): "You know exactly what tape I'm talking about, Grace."
Grace (impatient): "You're losing it, Tse."
Psycho: "I'm not. You found him dead and you took the tape."
Grace (angry): "What the fu*k are you talking about?"
Psycho (whispering): "I saw you on the basement. You were looking for him. That day you missed his class. I have known you for four years, Grace, and you have never skipped a class. You didn't go because you knew there wouldn't be a class. His body had not been discovered yet because you didn't say anything. You just found the dead guy and stole from him�"
Grace (angry): "I did NOT!"
As he walked beside her, he smiled and turned to the other people in the hallway. Psycho pointed at Grace and started screaming, "It's her! It's her! She took the tape! She's the thief!"
Grace stopped walking and pushed Tse against a locker, pinning his body with hers, covering his mouth with her hand. Even when it hurt him, he was amused; she looked angry enough to kill him. "Even if I had the tape, why would I give it to you?" she said between clenched teeth. She took her hand off his mouth and allowed him to answer.
"Because I showed you mine, Grace. That's how it works! I show you mine, you show me yours," Psycho said with a sly smile. "You're sick! Why do you want it?" Grace said as she pushed him once again against the locker. "Why do you?" he said amused. "I need it for my thesis," she replied seriously. "That's bullshit and we both know it. What's really on it, Grace?" he asked seriously.
To his surprise, she took a step back and hesitantly said, "I don't know." "What?" he asked. "I said I don't know! I haven't seen it yet!" Grace said softly. She suddenly gazed at the floor and covered her eyes with her hands. To Psycho, she looked as someone that had witnessed something horrible and yet refused to believe it.
He did something very unlike him. With the tip of his finger, he made her look at him and said, "You are so stupid, is cute. Your place or mine?"
**************WARNING: STRONG EXPLICIT DESCRIPTION***************
**************WARNING: READER DISCRETION IS ADVISED**************
1 Hour Later
Tse Residence
Bedroom
"Gimme the tape," Psycho said seriously. Grace was hesitant, but finally gave him the tape. She had come all this way, might as well go all the way. She watched as he put the tape in the VCR and hit the Play button. He sat on the edge of the bed, slightly surprised when she absently sat next to him.
The color bars appeared once again. Grace was waiting for the image with the horror and the dread with which someone waits for his own death.
"I, I can't," she suddenly says as she got up from the bed and gave her back to the TV screen. "Your loss," Psycho whispered as he took a Dorito bag from the floor and started eating.
At that moment, Grace heard once again the scream as horrible as in last night's nightmares. She put her hands over her ears, trying to shut the sounds that seemed to echo in the dark room. And then the beating started.
Psycho, who had dropped his half eaten Dorito on the floor, whispered "Fu*king hell!"
"Turn it off!" Grace screamed. her eyes closed, her hands over her ears, her back to the screen.
"Grace� this� this is real� this is fu*king real," Psycho said slowly.
"What do you see?" asked Grace. She had opened her eyes and was trying to concentrate on Psycho's collection of weapons.
"A girl� she's tied to a chair� naked� she's being beaten by someone wearing black clothes and a ski mask� with a fu*king wrench� He's hitting her head over and over again�" Psycho said, his mouth hanging wide open, in a mixture of shock and curiosity.
"NO! PLEASE! DON'T DO THIS! WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO ME! NOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
Even with her hands over her ears, Grace could hear clearly the woman's sobs and screams, her begging and her fear.
"Fu*k� fu'king shit� son of a bitch� this is awful," Psycho said breathlessly.
"I can't", Grace whispered.
Psycho opened his eyes wide, looking like an owl with his big eyeglasses. "Shit� what's he going to do to her� what's he? Oh MY GOD! Grace! don't look. you better not look." Psycho said, his eyes glued to the screen.
And he kept saying: "Don't look. Don't look." But the more he said it the more Grace felt the irrational part of her brain give in the desire to take a peak. One thing was to hear what was going on, another thing entirely was to see it.
So she did. She dropped the hands covering her ears and slowly turned around.
As Psycho had described, a girl was tied to a chair. The girl had been beaten and cut in multiple places. The image was blurry and was almost devoid of color, except for the blood. The red was so intense it wasn't faded by the lack of film quality. So much red, so much blood.
Someone with a ski mask was holding a knife near the woman's breast. he was slowly using the blade to tickle the woman's nipple. The woman was so afraid that Grace could feel that fear in the back of her own throat. Unexpectedly, the attacker put enough force into the knife to cut her breast. The woman screamed loudly, trashing against her restraints, but the attacker just kept cutting and cutting slowly until he was holding her nipple between two fingers. To further humiliation, he put the nipple he had just extracted on her head.
The camera did a close-up on the girl's face. Grace gazed directly into the girl's eyes, and in those eyes Grace could see the fear and the pain and the suffering of the girl. Grace had never felt so powerless before in her life. She was nothing more than a silent witness to the girl's tragedy, unable to do anything to help her.
Grace absently sat once again next to Psycho, her face a canvas of shock, horror and just plain sadness. Her heart beat wildly, deafening against her own ears. Grace put her hands above her heart, as if her heart would suddenly give in. Her eyes were full of tears, but like Psycho, she was glued to the screen, unable to look away from the horror it showed them.
"I know that girl," Psycho suddenly said.
"What?" she asked, her eyes shifting from the screen to him.
"She was at the university. I think she was a publicity student. She disappeared� two years ago� I think," he said absently as he took the Dorito bag from the floor and started eating.
Grace shifted her attention back to the screen in time enough to see the person in black as he dipped his or her hand between the girl's spread legs. With slippery gloves, the attacker touched the girl's genitalia. He spread her lavia, giving the camera a full view of the girl's womanhood.
Grace squirmed against the bed. This was beyond pain and beyond humiliation. This sadist was not only breaking her body. he was also breaking the girl's mind and spirit.
"Fu*k, what is he going to do?" Grace whispered as she watched the attacker take the knife and touch her organ. Without another second of warning, the attacker plunged the tip of the knife inside the girl, making her scream louder than she had ever screamed before.
Grace couldn't watch any longer. She ran out of the room as if her life depended on it. She ran into Psycho's bathroom and almost didn't have time to open the toilet seat as she emptied her stomach's contents.
Psycho, who was now standing in the doorway, told her, "I told you not to look at it." With that, he left back to his room.
But how could she not look?
She had wanted to push herself, to know what were her true limits.
And she had reached them.
She had just witnessed the most horrible scene she could have ever imagined.
But this time, it wasn't a movie.
This time, the credits won't roll in the end and the makeup artists wouldn't get an Oscar for the marvelous work they did.
This time, she won't be able to go back to her house and sleep soundly, knowing everything was well in the world.
Because this time, it was real.
Prof. Lau had known it.
And now, Grace knew it too.
And she kept hearing the girl.
Asking her why she was doing this.
Asking for her help.